this Holiday Season
Start a Conversation
As more than a half-million West Virginians prepare to visit loved ones this holiday season, it's helpful to be aware of ways your loved one may need help at home.
Traveling home can be exciting especially if you do not spend a lot of time together. For those who are visiting aging parents or grandparents, you may be surprised at the changes that can happen over the year, or even over a few months.
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If you are an adult child of aging parents or grandparents, there are a few signs to look for while you are home to ensure your parents/grandparents are managing well.
- Is the house maintained, both inside and outside? Are dishes piled up in the sink? Are things broken? Are all utilities working?
- Are your parents mobile? Do they shuffle when they walk? Are they able to manage stairs safely?
- As we age, our social circle becomes smaller. Look for signs of isolation or depression in their personal hygiene – bathed daily, clothes clean and how much social contact they may have with others.
- What’s in the refrigerator or pantry? Are they eating well? Groceries tend to be the one place aging adults spend less money on when having to choose between paying for medicines or food.
- If your parents drive, take a walk around the vehicle. Do you notice any new dents or dings in the vehicle or the garage? Take a drive with them.
- Are they able to carry on a conversation or do they seem confused more often?
- Are they needing additional equipment to remain safe in their home? Grab bars in the shower, shower chair, wheelchair ramp, etc?
- Are they missing medical/dental appointments? Either forgetting or due to lack of transportation?
- If they don’t have transportation, how do they get to appointments, get their medicines, or get to the grocery store?
These topics can help you start a conversation with your aging loved one.
As our parents age, they may need extra support, yet they may resist help with their personal matters. Initiating difficult conversations about their future health and well-being can be challenging for both sides, as these discussions often evoke feelings of anxiety and frustration.
The Community Resource Counselors at the WV Aging & Disability Resource Center work closely with aging parents every day, and they’ve learned valuable insights from these interactions. Here are ten tips to facilitate those tough conversations with your parents:
- Start Early – Approach topics proactively when they’re relaxed. This can help pave the way for more productive conversations.
- Exercise Patience – Enter sensitive discussions with an open mind and no fixed expectations.
- Choose the Right Conditions – Observe your parent(s) during regular interactions to identify the best times and settings for these discussions.
- Do Your Homework – Research local care resources and options. The WV ADRC is here to help!
- Involve Siblings or Close Family Members – Share your observations and concerns with siblings or trusted family friends.
- Lead with Empathy – Use compassionate language when discussing their needs, acknowledging their feelings.
- Really Listen – Encourage them to express their thoughts, which can help you address their concerns more effectively.
- Avoid Pressure – Introduce changes gradually, as gentle conversations are often more productive than forceful directives.
- Get Outside Help – Consider seeking professional guidance to navigate complex issues like legal documents and end-of-life planning.
- Take Notes – Keep track of key points and decisions from your conversations. This will help guide future discussions and adapt plans as circumstances change.
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While it’s natural to want to help your parents maintain their safety and well-being, it’s equally important to recognize and respect their feelings. Discussing end-of-life care can be daunting, so approach these conversations with sensitivity.
For more information about non-medical in-home care options that can support your parents, please reach out to WV Aging & Disability Resource Center at 866-981-2372.
